12 steps to painting my nails (now I’m a mum)

  1. Slap some moisturiser on my hands and cuticles; ironically since becoming a mum my hands have gone from baby soft to dry and cracked.
  2. Realise that I’ve neglected to do the washing up first; that’s the cream down the drain then. Oh well, the washing liquid says it has moisturising ingredients.
  3. Attempt to file my nails in a flash. I have no time to worry about splitting them, instead I resemble a woodcutter sawing down a tree…
  4. Unfortunately, after one hand my toddler demands to use my emery board as a drum stick. At least it was my right hand that I did first.
  5. Start carefully painting on the base coat. It would be a lot easier if my child wasn’t tugging at my leg…
  6. Oh dear – the base coat has gone all over my hands, funnily enough hardly any spilt on my nails.
  7. Forget the base and move swiftly onto the colour. I’ve completely lost track on what’s currently on trend so I stick to classic red.
  8. Go me! I’ve successfully painted every single nail perfectly!
  9. This is the exact moment my son decides he wants to play with the duplo…
  10. Hmmm a box of bricks being emptied over my hands is a really effective way of creating a crackled effect; but that wasn’t the look I was going for.
  11. If I hold my hand far away and squint a bit it doesn’t look too bad. The main thing is that they dry before I need to wash them.
  12. Oh perfect, he needs to go to the toilet…


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