Toy (horror) Story

Toy horror story

It all started off well, we had a toy we needed to return due to it breaking within seconds of taking it out of the packaging (not the first time this has happened) and that meant we could basically buy something that would cost me nothing – win, win.

We were both excited as we hopped in the car and drove off, singing along happily to the radio. As we pull up to the store my son is literally bouncing with anticipation and then he spots him.

‘Mama why is there a man standing outside the shop? He’s not going to let us in!’

Presuming he must be confused I look over to where he’s pointing. Sure enough there’s tape across the entrance and a big security man standing in the doorway.

‘I’m sure it’s fine, let’s go and see what he says.’

It is not fine. The store is closed due to an emergency. Well I’m about to have an emergency all of my own.

‘NOOOOOOOO! YOU SAID I COULD GET A TOY!’

Okay, just take a few deep breaths.

‘I did say you could get a toy so we’ll just go to a different shop’. Of course we’re no longer swapping something so this is going to cost me…

In these situations the buggy is essential, at three and a half he’s well able to walk I’m just not well able to have a ‘bull in a china shop’ or should that be ‘kid in a toy shop’ situation on my hands.

I have already been resorting to saying if something’s too expensive it goes on the list for Santa. Thankfully he hasn’t actually put pen to paper yet so I’m counting on him forgetting what’s been added…

My favourite part of the store is the special offers section and they have some swimming Elmo bath toys. They’re €6, he wanted a new bath toy anyway and he loves Elmo! Sorted!

‘Would you like one of these as your treat?’ I ask with a fixed Cheshire cat grin on my face.

‘NO! They’re not very good.’ I bet he knows they’re too cheap…

After browsing the aisles with no sign of the elusive Rocky from Paw Patrol (if anyone knows where he’s hiding please let me know) we reach the Transformers section. Funnily enough I haven’t got a clue what price corresponds to which toy – as if parents aren’t stressed enough by this point. I naively presume that because the one he picks out isn’t very big it can’t be very expensive.

When it’s scanned through the checkout it comes to €23.99. Oh well, he’ll get hours of fun out of it!

Of course the packaging is hindering our speedy exit. I understand that it’s for security reasons but I paid for this and I still can’t get it out! Fortunately, I manage to borrow a pair of scissors off customer service. Home we go.

I try to ignore it but I’m sensing some disgruntlement from the back seat.

‘I CAN’T TRANSFORM HIM! IT’S TOO TRICKY!’

‘Don’t worry, Daddy will show you how when we get home.’

I’ve more chance of servicing my own car then turning a Transformer into one. Peace and quiet again for a few minutes.

‘HIS ARM’S COME OFF!’

Great, we started the day with one broken toy, we couldn’t change that one and now we’ve acquired a second broken toy.

‘I’m sure it’s not broken! I’ll fix it for you!’ Miracles can happen…

He’s still wailing as we step in the front door.

‘Show me what has broken.’

I did it, I did it, I actually fixed it!

Hmmm, he’s still crying.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘I WANTED THE BATHTIME ELMO!’

So there you have it, hope you enjoyed our ‘Toy Story’ I don’t intend on making a sequel.

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