My son’s current favourite phrase is ‘I’ll do it!’ When did chores stop being so much fun?
His top tasks are those that result in the maximum amount of noise; the microwave is put on needlessly several times a day just so he can hear the ‘bleep’, the whirring and spinning of the tumble dryer is enough to give me five minutes to myself and when it’s time to hoover it’s like all his Christmases have come at once.
Getting dressed is also a source of excitement and I begrudgingly have to occasionally leave the house with his top on backwards or his socks on inside out just so that he can feel he successfully dressed himself. I’m concerned the neighbours must think I need to get my sight checked.
The problem with him enjoying this new found area of amusement is that his enthusiasm can be exhausting. Instead of me giving the orders he ends up being the one calling the shots; the minute I finish a banana I am ordered ‘bin mama’, as soon as we finish our dinner it’s time to ‘sweep, sweep’ and every time the washing machine catches his eye he demands we get the dirty clothes.
Realising that his help with the cooking would be more of a hazard than a helping hand we wisely purchased a Cookie Monster Kitchen for his Christmas present. Unfortunately his initial excitement is starting to wear off and he is getting bored with using the plastic food. I had given in with letting him to ‘cook’ pasta but unbeknownst to me his attempt at ‘frying’ an egg was less successful and Cookie Monster did not look impressed with his new coat of orange fur.
One of his more ambitious claims is that he can drive us to the shops. Don’t worry I haven’t given in on that one yet. They may have invented an ‘N’ plate for Novice drivers but I can’t see them giving in to creating a ‘B’ for baby at the wheel!
Whilst it can be frustrating to have to deal with Mr Independent when you’re trying to leave the house in a hurry I know that this stage won’t last forever and before long I’ll be pining for a little helping hand again.
I’ve heard of backseat drivers but never come across the concept of backseat baby drivers before. My journey’s with my son have always been anything but boring but now they’ve taken a new turn (excuse the pun).
It all started with me having to provide an explanation as to why we have to stop traffic lights. ‘When the lights are red we have to stop, when they turn green we can go’ I explained. Now when we pull up in the usual manner, the exasperation behind me is clear ‘come on lights, go green!’ Unfortunately the lights seem to have a mind of their own and don’t respond well to being nagged…
When we get stuck behind a tractor I always hope that he might be fascinated enough with the vehicle itself not to notice that it’s slowing us down. ‘Look at the tractor I plead, it looks just like your toy one, isn’t it a nice colour!’ All I get in return is ‘come on, come on, come on’ in an increasingly high pitched tone.
The road isn’t the only place where speed is of the essence; the supermarket trolley is another wheeled vehicle that my son demands is driven with the dexterity of Jenson Button, I am becoming extremely deft at not stopping on our rounds at all and think I would have excelled on Supermarket Sweep.
However, my favourite has to be the ‘well done mummy’ I receive when I manage to park the car in a particularly tricky spot (I like to pretend I didn’t teach him to tell me that).
…get exasperated by those pesky magazines that for some reason miss out page numbers, we may only have two mins free to read an article and one minute is spent trying to locate it!
…nod along pretending that you understand what someone’s saying but you’re not doing it to your mate in a noisy pub but to your mumbling toddler doing their best to put a new sentence together.
…blamed their child for their lateness only it wasn’t their fault at all; it was because you couldn’t bare to let yet another cup of tea go to waste.
…get back garden envy when they look out their upstairs window; while everyone else’s looks like something from Gardener’s World yours looks more like Bob the Builder started a job and forgot to finish it.
…already looking forward to Easter hoping their child will get lots of eggs from friends and family so that you can eat them all whilst explaining that they would rot their little one’s teeth.
I started mummyvstheworld.com in February ’15 and was delighted to win a Silver Award for 2nd Best Parenting Blog at the Blog Awards Ireland in October ’15. In addition, I was a finalist in the ‘Best Blog Post’ and ‘Best Parenting Blog’ categories at the Blog Awards Ireland 2016.
I have a four year old boy (E) who I have to thank for being the inspiration behind my posts.
I have a degree in English Literature and diplomas in Journalism and Media and also Digital Marketing.
I’ve previously worked as a Parenting Columnist at The Irish Mirror, a Staff Writer at Familyfriendlyhq.ie and a columnist at The Kildare Nationalist. I have also written for Herfamily.ie, Maternity and Infant, Easy Parenting and contributed to the book ‘True To Life Parenthood’.
I was delighted to be asked to film a segment for RTEjr in December ’16: